How are ya?
Introductions can be daunting as fuck for just about every person I’ve ever met and yet here I am some sick masochist of night trying to introduce the world to the fuckery going on between my ears on top of my shoulders.
The connotation behind the term first has lingered in my generation or so I’ve witnessed since early grade school. No one ever wanted to go first to present a project the cultivation of all of their work. I felt like a freak. why were these people eager to hide their doings while I would volunteer to go first. I want to get it over with us how I’d justify my eagerness to set the bar extremely high for no one else to be able to graze. The teacher always says you get a better grade going first I’d continue to justify further.
You’ll grow to find I love synonyms and antonyms I cannot pick a favorite of the two. To have a group of words that mean the same thing yet carry different connotations is an incredible concept to this b/w ear chatter.
The introduction is the first. The first glimpse into my minds eye. And here I am 20 years older than when I’d volunteer to go first and I’m quaking in my boots. I figured for 27 years I’d be getting to know me doing work setting the bar extremely high for no one to graze, etc etc
In a way they wouldn’t teach you in school, high is almost like a synonym to introduction and first with an extremely different set of connotations. I’d get high every single day for about 5 entire years of my life. That’s almost twenty percent of my life currently with most of the other eighty percent being in school. But in ten years it’s only going to have been thirteen percent of my life thus far. And ten years after that when I’m 47, it will be a mere ten percent of my life thus far.
And thus with one swift blow, my life has changed by giving up marijuana, cigarettes, coffee, and changing to a more active lifestyle and plant based eating habits I was able to think with clarity I have not had since my first memories of deep thought.
Time is one swift blow. Time is a constant wind gust in life sometimes directly to your gut and other times sitting pretty beneath your wings.
Perspective is another swift blow. It takes time to build a perspective that benefits you however when you finally can begin to grasp your own perspective, with one swift blow other perspectives begin to also make sense.
As I walked along a street driven countless times, a young seemingly lost deer darted from the woods yards in front of me. He had modest small antlers and a coat that shined in the sun showing each and every striation of muscle. The yellow flowers on someone driveway he chose for lunch as I watched in awe such a beautiful creature seemingly present for only my eyes. Modesty is important and so is accepting the beauty that life holds.
thank you for your time
I’d appreciate your perspective